Sunday, July 01, 2007

The piece below was inspired by an article entitled:
"Rise of man theory ‘out by 400,000 years’", published June 25, 2007 in the TIMES ONLINE


Anachronistic Agriculture

The recent discovery of microscopic-sized agricultural tools in a container of Spirulina amazed even the most skeptical of scientists and opened anew the discussion as to how early in our development agriculture in fact began.

The results of the research are astounding and have caused a revolution of thinking among evolutionists. Agriculture, it has been conclusively proven, dates to the mid-Hadean aeon, that is, 4 billion years ago!

Storehouses containing traces of spelt, einkorn, emmer and kamut, cultured by a people called the Pro-Karyotes, have been found in the Nile Delta region.

These little guys were busy as beavers. Their granaries were enormous relative to their size. Some measure as much as 20 X 20 mm.

Caches of flintlock firearms were found as well. It is believed that these were used by the Pro-Karyotes to defend themselves against marauding bands, whom they refer to as the Anti-Karyotes in their records, which are written in cuneiform.

The Anti-Karyotes, for their part, retained records in which they described themselves as "rewilded ferals" who returned to being hunter-gatherers. They subsisted mainly on Wooly Mammoth and cherimoya, but they did sometimes give in to their old ways and indulged their taste for processed foods and Hershey's Kisses. They seemed to have been partial to Velveeta Cheesefood. They typically wore nothing but red bandanas and their ideogram, with which they were all tattooed on their forearms, looks amazingly like the phrase "Guns and Roses". The Anti-Karyotes were the progenitors of the two branches of modern day Bushmen, those who inhabit the Kalahari Desert and those who inhabit Texas Desert.

Exacting inventories of stock were scrupulously kept by the Pro-Karyotes. Their mathematical abilities were impressively advanced for their time. Teensy weensy abaci were found in their managerial and accounting offices, which were on the top floor of some of the granaries.

The Pro-Karyotes worshipped a god they called Hugh (or Huge) Karyote. They described him as being unfathomably great in wisdom and magnitude. He was believed to look something like a "gargantuan abbey" that contained vast, labyrinthine corridors, which they referred to as "mite-o-chondria" or "might-o-chondria, within the holy of holies, which was named Nucleus, a name so sacred as to be forbidden to be pronounced on pain of death.

Doreen Ellen Bell-Dotan, Tzfat, Israel

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