B"H

Why I Do As I Do

My family was a family of Mekubalim for more generations than anyone can remember. They lived in a shtetl called Shtekachin in Poland and were all very poor because they were full-time, dedicated scholars of the first order. Young scholars were given the daughters of scholars to wed. Being poor the elder scholars could not afford dowries. The shtetl was one extended family, actually. Cousins married cousins for many generations and produced outstanding scholars. My mother's parents, peace be upon them, were first cousins. In fact, everyone on her side of the family are related. One and the same person in the family may be my cousin in one way and my aunt in another. My own mother is my cousin. The scholars thus produced were very brilliant, but as I said, indigent.

One day a gentile Pole who knew the Jews in Shtekechin came to tell them that a pogrom was planned. He said that if they could arrange to pay him he would try to bribe some people he knew to spare them. Being so poor they could not raise much money. They only had enough money to save one family. They decided to save my great-grandfather and his family, as he was the greatest scholar of all in the town. They paid the money and the Pole arranged for my great-grandfather, my great-grandmother and their seven children to be smuggled out of Poland and put onto a ship, in steerage, that eventually brought them to America. Another child would be born in the US. She, now almost 85-years-old is the only one of her sisters and brothers who remains in this world, to 120. My great-grandmother died a couple of years after they arrived in America of consumption, leaving my great-grandfather to raise eight little ones.

My family in America corresponded with the family back in Poland. Some did die in the pogrom that did take place. The rest died in the Holocaust. From around the time of the take-over of Poland by Germany all correspondence from America went unanswered.

In America my family became affluent, highly-educated in secular matters and gained political prominence within two generations. They were, after all, genetically programmed prodigies and succeeded in whatever endeavor they applied themselves to. Most of them became completely secularized and forgot their Holy religious relatives who gave their lives to save them.

I did not forget. I dedicated my life to the study of Torah even though I came from an assimilated home and had every "advantage" that privileged, assimilated Jews had. I went to live in the Holy Land. I keep the light of Torah and truth burning in memorial of my Holy relatives who died so that the Torah, the truth and I might live.

With this explanation I beg your pardon if I do not respond to many posts individually. There is much for me to learn, to write and to disseminate and time is of the essence.

Doreen Ellen Bell-Dotan, Tzfat