B"H

Too Damn Smart

This is a piece I found that I wrote on another board some time ago.

Yes; Doreen is a very, very intelligent person, too damn smart for her own good. Would you expect Catherine Zeta Jones not to be arrogant about how she looks? However, genius is more rare than beauty, and far more difficult to live with. Everyone wants a genius IQ except those who actually have an abnormally high IQ. You say that I am among the most intelligent people you've ever encountered. If you've attained maturity, you've probably met a lot of people. Imagine how difficult it is for me to find someone I can really communicate with. To be what is referred to as severely intelligent by those who are this way and those who suffer the birth defect of genius is as isolating as being profoundly retarded. To exist far from center on either side of the IQ Gaussian curve (Gauss is the mathematician who described the classical “bell” curve) is a defect.

I try to reach out to people, but my parody of normal behavior limps. My social skills are retarded and everyone seems to be thinking in slow motion to me. I can't be like you, that's very isolating. Frankly, I do pick up on your envy. You can't be like me. Are you quite sure you want to be me so bad that you attempt to assume my identity? Would you really want to walk in my moccasins? Could you fill them out?

I was thoroughly disgusted by Uni when she suggested that I divorce my husband. It was an all together idiotic thing to say. In the case of my marriage, it was particularly stupid, as I consider it a miracle that I found someone who understands me, at least in part, and can live with me and still love me for 20 years, even though he readily admits he'll never know just who I am, or understand how I cognate. He also gives me another precious gift - the gift of freedom. If Uni had a long, happy marriage she never would have said what she said. Only a partners in a couple who have been together for a long time know what a victory over happenstance it is to succeed at staying together. She's obviously not married very long, or very happily, or both. I consider my marriage a miracle from God. She suggests that my marriage be put asunder, God forbid - and calls me a religious hypocrite. I truly do consider Uni not only hypocritical herself, but impetuous, singularly unaware and, as a self-appointed spokesperson for the State of Israel, a liability.

Being a genius is actually being the next step in Human evolution. It is a mutation, an advantageous one in the long term to be sure, however in the present it makes one feel as though he or she is in the wrong time frame, and that is a life-long experience – an experience of being existentially alone and perpetually out of sync.

As the honest and fair people on this board know, I use my intelligence to help those who do not attack people. I can also be devastating to those who do attack others because I know how the mind works far better than most of you do. I am far less concerned when people attack me. That amuses me. It’s like someone trying to shoot a light ray with a gun. However, I do not conscience seeing good people attacked, as Shana and Jennifer have been attacked. You'd be much better advised to have me as a ally than as an adversary. I can be of great assistance. I can also do permanent damage to your mind, the way you perceive yourselves and your worlds.

Doreen Ellen Bell-Dotan, Tzfat