Us Through The Eyes of Our Guinea Pigs


Grrrrrrgr: Psssst. Hey, you. The one they call "Gomez". What's your real name?

Grrrr: Grrrr. And yours?

Grrrrrrgr: Grrrrrrgr. You didn't think that my name is really Buster, did you?

Grrrr: That's a long name! I'll try to remember it. I hope I can pronounce it.

Grrrrrrgr: Yeah (laughing, good-naturedly), my parents were from India.

Grrrr: Ah. That explains it. So, how do you find living with the humans?

Grrrrrrgr: Well, I'll tell ya, I was told that they're vicious and can be very dangerous to guinea pigs, but they seem too slow-moving and dull-witted to be capable of doing any real harm.

Grrrr: Yeah, they certainly aren't the rocket scientists of the primate kingdom. We'll have them trained in no time. Actually, I find them kind of amusing.

Grrrrrrgr: That they are. Which one is your favorite?

Grrrr: I like the older male. He's gentle and docile. Good work that he's a vegetarian too. It's so funny how he eats vegetables for breakfast every morning, keeping the middle part for himself and gives us the best part – the trimmings and leaves. He thinks he's giving us the leftovers (tittering).

Grrrrrrgr: I'm partial to the dominant female. She's so cute, with her long white fur and beady brown eyes. Adorable as she is, she can be fiercely protective of her cubs. Kinda reminds me of my Mom.

Grrrr: They do such funny things. Remember a few days ago the female painted the "bathroom" of their hutch "purple"? I didn't get the whole bit. First of all, why do they need a special burrow in their hutch called a "bathroom"? What do they have to bathe so much for? What are they, birds? Why don't they just lick their front paws and spruce up their fur a bit? And, what's "purple"?

Grrrrrrgr: Ah, purple is one of the colors we can't see. It's not a primary color. They say that it's red and blue mixed together. We can see red and blue, so try to imagine them mixed together.

Grrrr: Yuck.

Grrrrrrgr: Hahaha. Yeah, it does sound kind of repulsive, but they seem to like it and contented pets are easily disciplined. So, let's indulge them.

Grrrr: Good thinking.

Grrrrrrgr: I like to watch the dominant female on her toys, you know, the things they call the "treadmill" and the "stationary bicycle". Hamsters and rats just get wheels. These guys get really fun toys. Maybe they'll let us play on them sometime.

Grrrr: Yeah, but why does she jump up and down and flap and swing her arms all around after she gets off those things? I hope that doesn't happen to us!

Grrrrrrgr: No, no. It doesn't just happen. She does that on purpose. Goodness only knows why.

Grrrr: They're a riot! Funnier than a barrel of monkeys (peals of laughter).

Grrrrrrgr: And the male cub. Did you see how he walks to his room on his front paws in protest when they send him to his burrow early?

Grrrr: Yeah, he drags the toes of his back paws along the low ceiling where the, what's it called, "attic"? is and leaves his toe prints up there. The dominant female gets mad and yells at him (guffaws).

Grrrrrrgr: All in all I think we're pretty lucky to have gotten these guys. They seem to really love us. They take good care of us and they're easily enough managed. I think we must be living on what the humans call "Easy Street".

Doreen Ellen Bell-Dotan, Tzfat, Israel